Finding time to see the beauty in every “ordinary day” starting with you! Make today a Be-U-tiful day! Then share some beauty with another.
Hey, ya’ll! Yes, I said ya’ll. It is such an exciting time for me. I am feeling so much creative energy flowing through my bod. Idea’s popping out of me like…. pimples on a sleeping 13 yr old. (SEE!!)
I am finding difficult to stay tuned in to any one project as I am embarking on this creative journey. I keep having to fend off the “should” monster in favor of my intuitive longings… Like, I should…..
- Work on blog template/ design
- Go shopping for a new pair of boots to wear to the conference next wk.
- Make dinner
- Write in your blog
- Hairapist ideas / classes
I am much better at detecting the “should”monster these days. The “shoulds” come from parts of my miserable inner critic, from loved ones and the “higher authority” of “others” out there whom I imagine know more than I on well, any givin topic. But who better to listen to on matters of the soul than …well, MY soul.
So you can see which one won out!! There will still be time for me to cook, exercise and paint today if I choose to do all!
On another note… Meanwhile… in the SALON…
I wanted to share a few photos of my friend Julie that I took this week after cutting her hair!! The girl has STYLE (OUTER BEAUTY) and I just love the one where she is laughing!! It really showcases her INNER BEAUTY!!! Thanks JULIE!
Going to get started painting now………tootles!! By the way LOVIN up my Kelly Rae E – course!
So, last time I posted (which was the first time I posted) I was just back from a life changing trip to the stunning Hawaiian islands, Maui and Oahu to be precise. The photo on that first post was taken by me on Oahu’s N. Shore and it showed a majestic scene beyond a wide expanse of roadway…a path to the great unknown…well, metaphorically speaking, I did just say it was the N. Shore of HI. This is where I am today. A few steps ahead but still with the wide expanse in front of me. And I am liking it!
For those of you who don’t know me I have spent just under half of my life as a hairstylist. WOW! That is crazy when I put it like that!! I have LOVED what I chose to do in the beauty industry, loved it for many years…grew from a stylist working for salon owners, to being an independent contractor to currently owning my own salon! I have put my heart and soul into the business and it had been good to me. I love to make people feel and look great !!
Lately, I have felt burnt out. For a few yrs now to be honest. The kind of burn out that puts you on the couch after a long day, watching shows like Intervention and Housewives of Somewhereville…just to numb out! Not proud. But true.
At the same time, I have been on a personal journey of growth and spiritual awakening. The idea of only attending to my clients on the surface (outer beauty) has started to lack meaning for me. I have been more interested lately in (inner beauty) the deep soul work I have been doing on myself over the years.
I have always talked about writing a book about how stylists really are more like therapists than most folks realize. Unless you have experience with Hairapy you don’t know what really goes on. A few yrs ago I started researching and doing some writing on this topic and I am super excited to bring my ideas to life in the near future. THAT is one part of this new path I am excited to share here on this blog and beyond.
The other is my long desire to rekindle my love affair with painting and art in general. I went to art school a long time ago and have always considered myself and artist (of course hairstyling is an art and it has saved me over the years) but it was not until my 8yr old son casually said to me one day “Mom you are not an artist, Dad is” (my husband paints as well, and has been steadily at it over the years) That I thought, ‘Wow, my son really does not know who I am…I am too an artist and I need to prove it!’ ….To myself. Then, life, work, bills, friends and the couch got in the way and I continued to be, shall we say.. miserable and whiney and blamey….mostly directed at my dear hubby. Oh for shame. I am over that stage. Finally. Love you hon.
Hawaii opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. Not because it was Hawaii. I did not go to any special seminars or classes. No special anything. It could have been Hoboken N.J. The place did not matter. The space did. And my readiness. A crazy, unimaginable set of circumstances landed me there, ( that’s another post, another day) by myself for ..11 days, 11 glorious days to wander, wonder, and to be. To find the me who went missing all those years before. Before I became a wife, a mother, a business owner- just to name a few of my roles.
I found her one lazy May afternoon in the town of Kailua at a cozy coffee shop off of a side street next to a diner where the locals eat yummy pancakes with cocoanut inspired syrups and spicy exotic sausage. I sat for hours sipping iced chai, sketching and painting with a set of traveler watercolor pencils. Totally and completely in the moment absorbed and content. Happy. Listening to my new most favorite music and most of all inspired beyond belief. The kind of inspired that makes you want to go up to people and hug them, strangers and maybe even kiss them!! Jump out of your skin giddy! It was clear to me finally! No more excuses. And for the first time in a very long time I knew what I had to do. My very life force energy depended on it. My art. I did not have a plan. But that would come. “Just do it”, I heard this pop cultured phrase in a new way. “A painter paints” my husband would always say when I whined about the artists “block”. A writer writes. Simple.. . not easy. Necessary at this juncture- for sure.
SO much to do… My very first priority is making time for art and writing in my life. That might have sounded selfish to me a few years ago. I have a child and husband for gods sake… wisdom has shown me clearly the lesson of filling the well. For me my well needs to be filled with quiet creative time to myself, happily balanced with my other loves of family and friends. But it has become clear to me I get off balance AKA miserable bitch, if i don’t afford this time to myself. A lesson hard learned!!
I am inspired by so many many wonderful artists in my local community and beyond and am happy to be taking an online course as I write by an amazing woman artist I found soon after I returned to NC, Kelly Rae Roberts! A kindred spirit and a new group of amazing women in the “flying lessons” classes! She is helping me with my plan! Thanks Kelly! Love, and creativity to you all for now. Over and out. Palms together.
(My work below)
Tap, tap…. is this thing on?….. Testing….Hello out there!
I cannot help but get the image of myself standing on a spotlit stage staring out into the darkness. It’s the middle of Somewhereville. A mostly empty high school auditorium. A few chuckles and a hacking cough in the back row. I’m nervous and kind of excited too. Or, the scene of a lifeless bar on a wed night open mike. My eyes squinting, my nose wrinkling as the accusing brightness of the spot light threatens to divulge my secrets.
This is what blogging feels like to me at the moment. And I am ready for my closeup…well almost.
The entire world of blogging is new to me as I write this first post. I suck at typing and I don’t have my glasses on because I keep forgetting I need them. I reach up to see if they are perched on top of my head and as I do this I feel a whispering breeze of “old” rush over me. I shake of the chill and tell myself my eyes could use a bit of exercise because clearly my ass does not want it at the moment, as I sit here and write.
Just be yourself, put YOU into your blog, authenticity is what they want, your readers… huh..people are going to read this stuff? To be determined.
I like to do my research before I step out into a new venture. Yes, I have just finished reading the latest articles on how to blog successfully. Articles like: How To Make Money With Your Blog, How To Win Friends, Influence People, Sell Your Stuff, Sell Other Peoples Stuff, Teach Stuff, Inspire People, Teach People To Inspire People, Inspire People To Teach People, Get Book Deals, Movie Deals, Pay Off Your Mortgagee in 5 Years Writing 30 Min A Day, End World Hunger and Start World Peace With Your Blog………..seriously? Don’t get me wrong I want all of that for myself and the world. But this is not why I am writing today. I am writing today because this is what is bringing me joy.. today..now…for the moment.
A few years ago I decided to give up on my dream to save the world. This happened quietly one October morning on my drive to work. I was at that place with my own self growth where I had hit a wall. Why did I continue to make the same neurotic decisions over and over again? I knew better intellectually. Eat less, exercise more lose those 10 pound of baby weight. Had the answers to all of my friends problems, griefs and mishaps. Could see right thru my family of origins dysfunction. Continually reminded my husband about all of the things he needed to work on. But I was still stuck in the same place. And I found myself searching so hard to find my mission, my calling, knowing deep inside I came here with a mission( not just a purpose, oh everyone has one of those) but a mission…. think Spiritual Special Forces. I am a helper, a peacemaker, a changemaker. I thought that one day if I could just find the right cause and get my shit together I could help save the world make a contribution to world peace, end war, invent something totally amazing.. Yes little ‘ol (I did not say old) me.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Duh, how did I expect to change the world if I couldn’t even change myself? I got it. Right there on that green country road, the one that I had traveled so often that it’s 8 mile stretch seemed like 3 to me. Did you ever notice how the road we know seems so much shorter? When new friends would visit I would always hear “you live out in Knowhweresville.” That is until they traveled the road enough times to come to know it too, it’s twists and turns it’s hills and valleys.. It is always the unknown that feels longer, darker, scarier, never ending.
So this is where find myself today. On the corner of Knowheresville and Somwheresville talking to you. Walking into an unknown new world. Working on changing myself into the me I know I am supposed to be. In doing so, knowing I hold the key to my only chance to really help the world. Carving out precious moments to spend my time doing what brings me joy trusting that thru this expression my mission reveals itself. This is the only way I know how to be true to myself and those around me. One post, one painting one hug and one dance at a time. Stay tuned, it should be fun and a little scary. Tap, tap… is this thing on???